Something Even Better

Pre-SEB: Putting your joy first with Marisa Bailey

July 19, 2021 Stacie Mitchell Season 2 Episode 9
Something Even Better
Pre-SEB: Putting your joy first with Marisa Bailey
Show Notes Transcript

You do NOT want to miss this vulnerable conversation with my business coach Marisa Bailey where she talks about putting her joy before her business by deciding to supplement her business by accepting a dream job. We talk about mental health as entrepreneurs, the pressures of having a coaching business, and the importance of remembering why you wanted a business in the first place.

You can connect with Marisa on Instagram @marisareneebailey.

Read more about my experience getting a full-time job here -- inspired by this conversation!


Stacie Mitchell:

What's the biggest secret behind a successful life coach consistency. Welcome to the consistent coach podcast. I'm your host, Stacy Mitchell. And I help coaches simplify their businesses and their marketing so they can easily stay consistent, get clients and grow their income, using the power of routine habit , building a neuroplasticity because you don't need to do and be all the things to be successful. You just need to be consistent.

Speaker 2:

Hello everyone. And welcome to this episode of the consistent coach podcast. I am beyond thrilled to have my coach join us, Marissa Bailey. I don't even know where to start and I'm telling her I'm like, I'm more nervous than usual. And I think it's because I'm so excited. I'm just so excited to have her with us. Um, I want to start by saying that and I might cry, so just get ready for this. But I had like my biggest breakthrough moment as a client with Marissa and it was something, you know, this is the power of coaching, but it was something very simple. I think she reflected back to me. Uh, I have written on my wall. Things always work out for me. I had said it at some point she reflected it back and it was like, oh yeah. And then I was able to quit my job. And I was able to do so many things that I didn't think I would be able to do. So anyway, I've rambled, Marissa , introduce yourself for just so glad to have you that just like warms my heart. And I'm so glad that you shared that because I think that that was one of the most pivotal moments throughout our work together. And I'm just going to say that it's been such an honor to work with you over the span of time. Um, but like you said, my name is Marissa Bailey. I am a coach. I've been in the industry for about, oh my gosh, three and a half, almost four years now. I don't even know where time has gone. Um, yeah, I'm just super, super excited to be here. I primarily focus in business coaching for new entrepreneurs, specifically coaches and consultants, which is how you and I started working together. And ironically, you and I had both gone through the same coaching certification school here locally in North Carolina. So it's always really cool too , for me to be able to have a client that's local because oftentimes I get presented the opportunity to actually meet them in person. So I'm super excited about that. Yeah. And so this will come out after this will happen, but I actually get to see Marisa in person soon. Cause we started working together with all, I mean, maybe right before the pandemic, I can't even remember now. I know. Yeah, it spanned a while, but um, it might've been just before or during or after. I can't remember. I'm very bad at time, but all this to say we're about to see each other in person. So it's very exciting times. Very exciting. And um, I wanted to invite Marissa on because she's got this really great story, which I'll let her tell, but , uh, I, so many coaches need to hear it. And Marissa and I talk a lot about the changing, transforming the coaching industry because you know, when you're in something you start to see not the issues, but sort of the, the things that stick out as like, I don't love these things. We could make these things better. Um , and we can transform the way that coaching is happening online and then just in the world. So, so glad to have her here. Marissa, I'm going to ask you a hard question, get into the story, enter it . Yes. I really, I think you made an announcement and remind me, you can remind me when exactly they announced it makes I'm terrible with time. As I said, not too long ago that you were going, that you'd gotten a full-time job and you were like, I'm scared to say this, but I'm going to say it because it's important. And I want to be honest with my audience and everything else. Like I, I have decided to do this thing and get a job and I'm sure, you know, I don't know what everybody else's reactions were, but I was like good on you, you know? Like do the, do the thing that feels really good for you, but I want to know, you know, what brought on that decision? Tell us the story. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's challenging for me even to figure out where to start with that. So , um, it was gosh, almost going on three months now, which again, where has time gone? It feels like it was yesterday, but I will say that there was a number of things that went into that decision and it wasn't an easy decision. And also at the same time, it wasn't easy decision if that makes any sense. So I will say that , um, you know, running my business, opening my business, working with my clients, having the opportunities that I've had over the last three and a half, four years has been absolutely incredible. It has cracked me wide open in ways that I never expected. It's really given me the opportunity to meet, learn, educate so many phenomenal people. And at the same time, what I really recognized is that for me , um, I'm a huge proponent for mental health specifically for entrepreneurs, female entrepreneurs to get even more granular. And what I really realized is that I had kind of fallen into this space where I was able to support others with making sure that they're putting themselves first and really listening to what their heart was telling them in terms of taking care of themselves in all facets and not just the, from the societal self-care where it's just, you know, have a glass of wine and a piece of chocolate cake or something like that. It's so much deeper than that. And I realized that I should be truthful, was not doing that for myself. And so it was really getting to that place of feeling the burnout coming on again, which I had experienced previously in a former life. And , uh, you know, when I really took a huge step back and realized, wow, this is happening again, but in a different version, it really forced me to go inside and ask myself some really hard questions and really near some of the questions and conversation that I would be having with clients or people in my life to myself. And so it's never easy to kind of stand in front of a mirror, quote unquote , and have those tough conversations with yourself. And I would say that as a coach or as a consultant, and I think probably you can agree with this. And a lot of the audience might be able to agree with this is that oftentimes when you're having conversation with your clients, it's usually somewhere in there a message that you also need to hear. And so , um, that was also something that I really needed to pay attention to. And like I said, the decision wasn't easy, but it was easy. And , um, you know, I'm not sure how much in detail you want me to go right now, but in terms of logistics, how it happened is that when I finally realized, okay, I need to take a big step back and just have some conversation with myself that was back in February of this year. So February 20, 21, and I started doing some deep reflecting and I wrote out, you know, if I were to get a job, to supplement my business or to take my business to part-time , what would that look like? And I wrote it all down. I iterated on it and I'm not joking. Two weeks later, this opportunity presented itself even better than I, then I, then I wrote out and imagined, and it was, it was truly a no brainer for me. And I have not looked back since that's amazing. I mean, really, and truly, it's amazing just to even allow yourself to slow down enough and reflect enough to know like I need, I need something different. And I think the thing that people forget about, and I think we know it, that burnout is a thing for entrepreneurs, but I think sometimes it gets overlooked because there's, there's almost this feeling of like, well, you can control that because you're an entrepreneur, but it's not that easy. I mean, really, truly, it's not that easy. When you look at all the different aspects of running your own business, like there's so many things to think about. Um, and if you need money, it can. I mean, I'm just being really honest. Like if you need the money to support your life, whatever your life looks like, it can feel like you can't slow down. And so, you know, I've heard other coaches and other people say like, sometimes I will tell my clients, maybe it's time to get a job because of this reason, right? Like you can set back and create exactly the business you want, without that pressure behind it. There's so much pressure. There's so much pressure. And I think you bring up a really good point too, is that I personally just being in the industry and I haven't been in the industry near as long as many other people have, but from my own personal experience, what I really started to notice is that burnout became almost this topic to choose out of a list of items to potentially be a coach on or talk about. And so for me, it, it didn't feel very good, you know, to, to see that and to also be in the space where there was so much being talked about, but in my opinion, from a surface level and not really getting into the depth of what that can really look like, because what I was seeing is, you know, burnout was being so, becoming so prevalent and I still believe it . It very much is especially in the online entrepreneurial space, but it's being talked about and glazed over because so many are trying to hit that bar of I'm doing this, I'm making it work, I'm doing whatever I need to do. And no matter what it takes and not really looking at the , the big picture of no matter what it takes also would include a lot of individual's mental health or their wellbeing , or what are they willing to sacrifice to hit those quote unquote 5, 10, 20 K a month that are out there that make it look so dreamy and it's, it's not all rainbows and sunshine all the time. It's, it's a phenomenal experience. It truly is. And I would not change that for anything. And I really, really firmly believe that so much needs to be improved about the communication around what it really is like to be an online entrepreneur, specifically coaching. What realistically does it look like when you're first starting out? What are some things that you might want to prepare yourself for who were some individuals that you might want to have in your corner to reach out, to and talk to, and how do you also have those confident and challenging and motivating conversations with yourself too? Because sometimes you're going to be your biggest supporter. And oftentimes you might run into things where you're so hard on yourself trying to hit that again, that facade of what's primarily on social media, that it's , it's so easy and you know, the things that you hear all the time, like money comes easy and it's easy to this and blah, blah, blah, or it makes six figures in six minutes type of thing. And that couldn't make me more physically sick to hear when I hear things like, you know , um, the six figures in X amount of time and just a lot of out of integrity, marketing and tactics that I was seeing, and just really got to the point where I even had a hard time calling myself a coach, because I didn't want to be in that bucket of slimy is what it felt like. And so it, it really did take a lot for me to step back and say, okay, what really is my vision here? What do I want to be a part of? What do I not want to be a part of? What are my values? What do I believe in and how do I communicate that in a way that feels really good and also realize that I'm not going to make everybody happy all the time, but it's up to me to be able to communicate and live in my values through my business. And also personally behind the scenes. Yeah. There's so much, you just said that I'm like, oh, we could go in so many directions. Um, and you know, it's, it's interesting. We were talking before we jumped on that. We're very similar people in a lot of ways. And I'm sure when you were coaching me around not wanting to be a coach and the sliminess, you were like, you never brought up like me too, but of course, cause you're a great coach, but definitely I had the moments because I do think there is this, I don't know. I don't want to be the person who is making promises to people that it's just a lot harder than it seems. It's, it's so hard to explain because my messaging is like, keep it easy and let it be easy and stay consistent. And I do think it can be easy. However, that doesn't mean the money is going to come super easy. And I think that's the really hard part. And so it's, you have to be committed and consistent, but also allow for rest and also allow for the deeper reflection and also allow for things to not go the way that you expect to do, because they won't. I mean, that's like, I think the hardest part, it's never the way that you expect it's going to go. Um, and I think, you know , you said something about realistically , uh, like for people who are newer and for what it's really going to look like and what it really takes. And I was just thinking to myself last night, like I really truly only work 25 to 30 hours a week. However, those 25 to 30 hours take, I'm just going to be really honest, take everything out of me because I'm taking, I'm making all the decisions and I'm serving a lot of people and , um, you know, it's just, it's all you, right. And yes, you have community and you have support. And I think, as you said before, like it's really important to know who you need to have there for you like a coach , um, you know, a group, a community, whatever it is of people who understand what it's about. But I think , um, I think sometimes we get wrapped up and , and I'm, I'm sure I do it too. We get wrapped up in the, this is great. It's amazing. And I'm like, sometimes it's not, sometimes it's really not amazing. Yeah. And you brought up a good point too, of, you know, letting it be easy and believing that it can be easy. And so I think there are two , there's a, an another conversation that we could probably do a whole nother episode on, of , um, easy versus ease. And how, how do you personally define, let it be easy or how do I bring more ease to this process or to this operation or to this decision. And I, I really believe that you get to define what feels quote unquote, easy and how you get to bring more ease to building your business or how you want it to operate. Because the way that I operate my business is to be wildly different from how you do or how anybody else might. And so there's no blueprint or template approach to say, here's how you should build your business to number one, have it be easy because it being easy. Doesn't always mean that there's like one of those easy red buttons you can push and everything magically happens. And also how do you bring more ease to it? And that could be something like saying, okay, I'm going to dedicate a day to taking care of myself, or I'm going to dedicate an hour a day to making sure that I rest or go outside if I'm able or do something that really brings me joy. And I, I feel very strongly that, and I've talked to quite a few people about this before, and I think you and I have as well where it's almost quote unquote too easy to get in the space when you're building a business, that the first thing to go are the things that bring you joy. So those are the first things that you put on the back burner because you're so in that space of, I have to make it work. And so it's really, how do you find your commitment to yourself to really make sure that you're not sacrificing your joy so much to the point where the business then becomes something that is, is something that either is a task or it's , it's a challenge every day. So I think it's really important. And if I could , if you get anything out of this today is to make sure that you schedule time for your joy because it's so wildly important. Yeah. I, and I agree with that. And I think, I mean, it's, it's interesting, we're having this conversation. I just scheduled a post to go up a long time from now, but it was basically like you have to slow down. And I mean, it's very, very hard for me, you know, it's very hard for me to slow down. And then I'm like, when I slowed down, though, I can take the aligned action and I can find the joy again. But when your head is in the space of, well, I have to make this work and I have to hit 5k, or I have to get 20 people in this program or I have to, whatever it is, right. I have to, I have to, I have to, it's like, well , wait a minute, you built the business because you wanted to like, let's get back to what you want to do versus what you have to do. Yeah. And I think that's such a really great point and a really great way to put that as well. And it's almost as if, you know, we get into this space. And I think just generally as humans, a lot of us are wired to say like, okay, we have to have this, we have to have this. And then of course, when you're on social media or in the online space, in any capacity, it's so easy to fall into that, that loop of comparing yourself, even though if you get on there and you just say, okay, I'm just going to see what my friend is up to, or I'm going to see what my coach is up to. And then it's like, well, then I'm just going to scroll or I'm going to see what this other person is doing. And then you don't even know it. And an hour later you're over there like, well, wow, I haven't quote unquote it. And so I think it's really important in those moments to really , uh , have some blinders on for yourself and say, you know, I'm going to be committed to my joy in this way and have reminders everywhere. You know, if there's anything that this process of taking a step back from being full full-time in my business and finding a career that supplements not only my business, but also my joy is really learning to number one, not take so many things personally, and also realize that social media is this world where we put so much pressure on what other people might think about us, but at the end of the day, do I really remember half the things that I saw while I'm scrolling through Instagram or does that person who I am worried about what they might think? Do they really care? Probably not. And so that was something that was, I had to really kind of jump over that hurdle when I made that announcement that I was taking a job because I was really worried about number one, what would my clients think? And number two, what would my audience think? Um, because I was just so afraid that I had worked so hard on building this beautiful community and this amazing group of just ideal perfect, wonderful, lovely clients that I was so worried that they might think, well, what does this mean? You know, is she, is she a fraud if every single thing crossed my mind? And so it really just got to the point where it was like, you know, what, if , if it was me, I would want my coach to be completely open and transparent with me and let me know, you know, what's going on? What, what contributed to this decision? And so that's what I decided to do. And I have to tell you that I got the most phenomenal support and answers and questions, and it's been so great for me, able me to be able to share the story. Because again, I think that's something that is not talked about a lot. And when it is talked about it's , it's scary and it can be overwhelming because, you know, the first thought when you think, you know, you're building a business and you have to make it whatever quote, unquote making it looks like, and then you make this decision because an opportunity falls into your lap, or maybe the vision that you have, isn't in alignment with you, you, you make this decision. And the first thing, because like I said, as humans we're wired this way sometimes is wow, I failed. And there is nothing about making a decision to put yourself first or to put your, your livelihood first , um, or your mental health first or anything that is in correspondence with failure. And I think that that is something really important that I would really love for everybody to write down or just do some reflection on is that making a decision to go a different direction does not equate to failure. It means that you are listening to your heart, you're following what feels best for you. And not every single decision is permanent me taking this different direction in the fork in my road. And following it does not mean that I might not come back and say, okay, I'm going to start taking on a few more clients, or maybe I want to relaunch this program, or maybe I want to blah, blah, blah, whatever it is, that's totally up to me. And at the end of the day, I think it's really important that we remind ourselves that we really are in the driver's seat of our decision-making. And it's not anybody else in our social media audience. It's not anybody else it's up to us to make sure that again, we, we prioritize our joy and our happiness and, you know, the opinions of others will always be there. Yeah. Yeah. I there's so much, I can say in response to all of that, and it was so good, I'm like, Ooh, making a decision to do something different does not mean failure and not every single decision is permanent. The number of times I have to tell myself that, and also like clients and everyone in my world, like deciding to do this doesn't mean you have to do this forever deciding to do this. Doesn't mean like, you know, you could never go back to a job or does it mean that, you know, you're always going to be in your job if you decide to stay because , you know, I decided to leave. And then it was like, I don't think I really want to do that. And so I stayed and I'm so glad I did. And it was fine. And I still ultimately decided to leave and it was fine. And this was , I mean, it was good. And I do want to say too , it doesn't mean I'm never going to get a job because I do think there is some, like, there's some level of just quit your job, like out there with people like live the dream, quit your job. And they're not giving like the fuller context of what that can mean for people. Um , and for some people it's okay. Maybe you have a partner where you have savings, or you have something that makes you feel like I could do this and not feel a lot of pressure. And then for other people, it's a lot of pressure and it may not be the right thing, depending on your personality, depending on your mental health, depending on what other things you have going on capacity for . There's just so much that goes into that. Yeah. And I think you bring up a great point too, is, you know, I'm sure, even building your business at it, doesn't matter if you're six months or six years or 16 years into your business, it's always going to be okay to make a decision to supplement your happiness. Again, your business is not your life. And I know it can feel like that sometimes. And your business is a reflection of you, but it is not you. And I think, you know, for me personally, I'll be the first to say, is that I got so wrapped up in my identity was so wrapped up in my business that when I got to the place of, okay, I have this opportunity that came up, how do I even make this decision? It felt like a personal failure of, oh my gosh. Since I'm making this decision to go left, when I thought that I was going to be going right the entire time, it felt like a personal failure because it felt like my, my business was my identity. And so it took a lot for me able to , to say, okay, well, no, that's not actually true. It's separate. And so it's treating that decision with taking those two things into consideration separately and identifying, okay, well, who really is Marisa over here and who is Marisa's business over here and having conversations with each of those in a loving way and saying, okay, you know, Marisa business, what do you need at this time? Because your business will tell you what it needs. It's up to you. If you're willing to have that conversation and your heart will also tell you what it needs. And it's also up to you to have that conversation. And oftentimes those conversations need to happen separately. And then they can come together in a quote unquote room and figure out what works best. And so I think that, you know , if we could put a visual to that, I always really liked to look at it as if, you know , you identify what you really want. And it's almost as if you know, you're sitting at a conference room table and your values are in each of the chairs and you're at the head of the table and you're asking them for , for their input. Okay, what do I need in this area? Where are we at in this? How are you feeling? How can I nurture you a little bit more? And there's always going to be one of those that might be a problem child. And there's always going to be one over there. That's like, no, I'm good to go. We can stay on this path. And so it's really having that conversation and having those regular meetings with your values at that conference room table, or whatever visual you want to put to it. But at all , at the end of the day, those are your board of directors and you're in charge. So you're taking input from all of those. And then you come up with whatever decision it is that really works best for you. Yeah. That is such a good metaphor. Like the value sitting at the table. Okay. All like, what are we doing exactly, exactly. Are y'all feeling, I actually really love that. I'm going to use that as an exercise. Yeah . Yeah. It's really powerful feeling . Yeah. I love that a lot. And yeah. And I think, I think it's really interesting. Cause , you know, especially for coaches, I feel like most of us are our brands. Like our business brands who would show up as, as our business, our personal right. It's our personal brand. It's usually our story and I can see why it's so easy to , to have the identity so deeply intertwined with who we really are because in many ways it kind of is, but it's also not. And it's very confusing. I think that way. Yeah. And a lot of that I think really stems from because when you're, you're sharing, you know, let's just real, you're sharing your life on social media, you're sharing different facets of your story. And oftentimes that, like I said, at the beginning of this, it will crack you open in ways you did not expect. And so it can be really having those conversations with yourself and then outwardly sharing that can also bring up even more as you're sharing it. It could be a celebratory thing. It could be like, oh my gosh, I never even knew that I was going to outwardly process this or, you know, whatever it might be, because there's so much that goes into when you're creating your brand, you're sharing and owning different facets of your story. And so I, you know, for me personally, and I'm sure a lot of people that are probably listening to this is different parts of your story. Come out as you start reflecting on what you want and what you don't want in your coaching business, who you want to work with and who you don't want to work with. And a lot of times your clients will get on a video with you or sit across from you or be on a phone call with you. And they will be a reflection of you at a certain point in time. And it's almost like, oh my gosh, I'm talking to this mirror of myself. And, and you know, it can be like really eye opening and the most beautiful ways and also in some of the most unexpected ways. And so when you're sharing so much of your story, again, you don't have to share every single nitty gritty detail that's up to you. Um, but I would say, you know, as humans, we're not so accustomed to sharing things about ourselves and ways that we, I guess, quote unquote, expect praise. And so that can be really challenging to have really opening up and saying, you know, here's something I want to celebrate. And those, I would say those posts or pieces of content that I personally shared were much harder to outwardly share with people because it almost felt like I was bragging and now will be the first one to tell any of my clients like let's brag on you for a minute because you are a big deal and you have accomplished X, Y, and Z, and you're going to continue doing those things. And so I think it's also really important as we continue to grow and build businesses and be in the online space and encourage one another to own our stories. It's also really important too , to share the celebrations too, because there's nothing too trivial at all. You know, I would share some days that I slept past 8:00 AM and that felt really good. And you know, it doesn't always have to be, I know you, and I've talked about this before. It doesn't always have to be about the financial celebrations. Yes. Celebrating moments is pivotal to again, aligning and keeping that vision with your joys. Absolutely. Because I mean, yes, of course I like money. Everybody likes money on some level. Right. Um, but the money is not really why I did it. It's, it's something deeper. Right. And celebrating all of those deeper reasons. And even just, I recently said on Instagram, like I am slowing down, which means I'm not going to have the high income months this month through the next month. Oh. You know, but I really kind of excited. This is going to be great. I get to take, and this will happen. I think this is going to come out after this happens, but I get to take like a two week road trip. I get to do things that, you know, are really fun and, and take advantage of it. And I think sometimes it's kind of amazing just to do that and not be focused on, on the numbers are focused on just the business. It's like your life too . Right . Celebrate your life. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And I think it's so awesome too, to also have a reminder that you have really set your business up and gotten to the place where you can take that two weeks and it's okay. And you get to enjoy that and enjoy the view along the way. And that's something also to , to remind ourselves, even if it's not a two week break, maybe it's a two hour break or even a two minute break to just pause and take everything in, in that moment because we can get into that driver's seat and just have our foot down on the gas and just go in as fast as possible. And then all of a sudden, a red light shows up on our track and it's like, we have to slam on the brakes and it's jarring. And so when we're taking our time and just taking pause and you know, I'm taking a break along the side of the road just to take a mental photograph of this is where I'm at. And this is how far I've come. And also recognizing and looking at the broader view of, I still have so much to learn so much to take in and I get to help paint this, this paint , this picture of this landscape of where I'm going. And that's pretty cool. You know, if we get to think about it, it's not that we're handed like this painting off of a wall of a museum. And we say, Hey, here's your life. It's known that you have a blank slate and you get to contribute to every stroke of your own personal paintbrush and the colors, what hue you want. And I think that's really cool if we really get to look at it and you're going to have multiple paintings, quote, unquote of your life. And so it's really great to just say, okay, I want to hang this up on the wall and take two minutes, two weeks, two hours, whatever it is to just really look at it and absorb that and really remember, oh, this is where that, that texture in that painting came from. I remember that moment. And this is where the line in that painting came from. I remember that. And that's pretty awesome. Yeah. You're making me think of Bob Ross , happy little trees. And I don't know exactly what he says, but something that , where it's like, is it happy, a little mistakes, something where it's like, there are no mistakes basically in his world. It's like, yeah , you can't make a mistake. It's fine. That's right into a tree. We'll turn it into good . I love that. I love watching this stuff just to like, relax. It's very, my favorite ones are where he has the baby squirrels. Everybody who knows me knows that that would be the case. So there's so much goodness, in this, this episode, I don't even know where to go right now. Yeah. I want to know, because I know you, you, you talked a lot about how it felt like a failure, right. So how did you work through that for yourself? Hmm , good question. Uh , how did I work through that? You know, I'm still working through it. I don't think it's something that , uh , I will get to a place and say, all right, cool, done. I'm wiping my hands of that. I'm over it. It's, it's a constant reminder daily. And even if I'm not on social media every single day or in my business, every single day as I used to be, it's a constant reminder of you're doing really great. And so I would say the way that I've worked and will continue to work through it is having those challenging conversations with myself and the celebratory moments, really reminding that you can't see it right now, but I have a little mini gong next to me that I celebrate. Like there's something every single day, every single day. And I don't care how small it is that I will ring that gong and celebrate because it's so important to remember, okay, I'm going to celebrate this moment. And that's going to be a reminder of, you're not failing even if there is something, even if there is, you know , a happy little mistake or a mistake that doesn't feel so happy that is made it's okay. Well, what, what am I learning from this? And in that moment, that question is like, oh my gosh, more . So we're asking ourselves this again. Like, how could you possibly be learning something from this? It might not hit me in that exact moment, but give it a couple hours, a couple of days, a couple of weeks looking back on that. It's like, oh, okay. That's why I experienced X, Y, and Z. And I will also say lots of conversation with people in my orbit, who I trust and who I welcome their opinions. And I will also say that that's really big as well to make sure that when you have your , um, your group or your people in your corner, it's important to have those boundaries for yourself. You know, this decision for, for me, was very challenging at first. And it was, it felt , um, heavy. And so it's really having those people to be able to help hold you up. And also to be able to say, I don't need advice right now. I just need to get this off of my heart, or this is how I'm feeling right now. I don't expect you to have the answers or whenever you are looking for advice, in our opinion on something, just having the ability to ask for it is also really important because just as, as challenging as it is for me to be going through that decision and going through that process, it's also probably pretty challenging for somebody like my husband, who is okay, well, what are we, what are we doing today? You know, where are we at with this today? And able to say, okay, I just want to talk about X, Y, and Z, or I want to celebrate this. Can we celebrate this together? Or, you know, I'm , I'm navigating this right now. I don't need a conversation yet, but I might, and just being transparent with yourself and also, you know, those in your life who, who you trust, who you welcome their thoughts and opinions and advice. And also at the end of the day, not beating yourself up because you do your best every single day in different ways. And your best changes even if by half of a percent that's that's enough. Yeah. I really agree with that. And I love, you know, going to the people that you trust. There's I worked with a career coach once , um, and her it's Laura Sams and her way of saying it was like, when you, and this is really for having a dream. And I think this is for any topic where you're just feeling a little, like sensitive her way of saying it is don't bring your baby to target, which I kind of love. Like, it's such a good whatever. Like, if you're worried, like you're brand new baby, everybody's trying to touch the baby. And it's like, I'm not bringing my baby to target. Yeah . I like that. It's like, I need something, I need some Springs . I'm just taking it . Like, I'm just inviting like my family over. I'm not saying that they need to target or just inviting my close friends, whatever it is in terms of like your people. But I love that. And I love the question, like, what am I learning from this? I think that's a question all of us can ask of any situation that we're struggling in, because inevitably you are learning something from it and taking it back to like what you were saying about, you know, you attract clients that tend to have like the same things going on. Right. Um, is that you'll be in these, like these client coaching sessions and have this like, oh no. Like I meant for this message. And I'm like, I think focus. But yeah, I do think that that , that comes up too . Um , like you're just always learning something about yourself in every situation, coaching, non coaching, all the things. So I know , um, I recently asked you like, how was the job going? But I'd love to know like what it's been like, the transition back, you know , into a job after being an entrepreneur and what that was like and how that's going and feel free to share or not share as much as you want. Yeah. Yeah . Yeah. I think it's important for context here too , of , you know, what the job is. So , uh , you know, it's not your traditional nine to five in an office type of thing. You know, we're still navigating. The most of the world is still navigating. What in office even looks like right now. But , um, you know, this role is with an organization that has always been and will always be 100% remote and it's in the recruiting industry. So that is what I used to do prior to having my business. And I love it. I absolutely love it. Like I said, it wasn't an easy decision, but at the same time, it wasn't easy decision and it's, it's wild, how it really presented itself to me having the ability to still be a hundred percent remote. So if I want to travel and work from somewhere else, we can do that and I can still do my job. That was really important for me. I, you know, when I started thinking about making the decision, the thought of going into an office every day kind of made me want to vomit. I didn't want to do that. And so , um, you know, I wanted to be in an industry where I could still really make an impact and I love helping people align with a goal or a dream of theirs. And that's very much what I'm still doing, just in a different capacity and the team that I have, I could not even say enough great things about, I've just absolutely head over heels , happy with that. So that's some context into the job itself and how it's going. It's phenomenal. You know, when people ask me, I will just be completely honest and say, I feel like I'm breathing with a little bit more ease every single day. I don't feel like I'm holding my breath, trying to figure the next thing out every single day and holding and wearing all of those hats that there's something to be said about, you know, having that team , that team that is supportive and collaborative. So that is something that I really missed and didn't realize how much I missed it. And now I'm able to get that and kind of fill that void. Um, what else did you ask me? So how, how it's going now ? I don't remember, but I think you answered it. I mean, I think that is, I like the context, because I think for so many people who dream of being entrepreneurs, who dream of being coaches and working on their own, it's really it's the dream is, is the ease , right? To have the ability of having the flexibility to have potentially the ability for working, for working from home or working from anywhere, living anywhere. And it's like, well, you got that in a job. And that's okay. I, you know, I've had, I had a client who, and she's been on the podcast, so I feel comfortable talking about it. Christiana, if you want to go back and listen , um, who left her nine to five and that's what she needed to do. She was in marketing. She wanted to be a wellness coach. And it was the right decision. Although it was like March 20, 20. So it was a really scary decision time. Right. But the pandemic and everything, but now she's a wellness coach in a nine to five. Right. That's what she wanted. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with deciding like, I, this is the way I want to make this dream happen versus like forcing yourself into this. Like, this is how it has to happen because that doesn't feel very easy. It feels like a lot of pressure. Yeah. And I will say you bring up something , uh, I would love to touch on too, is the, the, the saying of let it be really decided yeah . To present itself in a very different way. From what I thought I had planned, you know, we, we so easily, easily get into that place where like, Nope, we're in the driver's seat. Like I said, we have the pedal down to the metal. We're going, we're going, we're going so fast that we don't even realize that we're just passing up all of these signs or abilities to have things be a little bit more quote , unquote easy. And so I will tell you that when I started really putting things into perspective or reminding me of why I started my business in the first place, which I have like , um, what I like to call it a whiteboard on my wall across from me. And it just says, remember why? And I have all these pictures and different things on it that, that remind me up to this day. It's still very relevant to me being in this job, that when I decided to remind myself why I started and I allowed myself bit by bit, not just all at once to let things be a little , a little bit easier, it was just like, things started falling into police so beautifully, better than I could have ever put the puzzle together. You know, I feel like I was so adamant about trying to put like a corner piece of my puzzle in the middle and trying to jam it in there. And the corners were bending and it was just, okay, this is uncomfortable, but I'm going to make it work. And so, you know, there was a difference plan and this plan that's playing out currently just, it feels right. And I, I cannot put it into words. It just feels right. And I'm, I'm at this place where it's like, okay, I'm going to trust. And I heard so much over the past three years of, well, just trust, just trust it, just trust your intuition, trust your gut trust, whatever it is that you might refer to. And I, I knew what that meant. I was like, okay, but everybody else there out there is getting all these signs and symbols and quote-unquote downloads and all these things. And I'm over here, like , well, where's mine, where's my lightning strike out of the sky that just like paints the picture in my yard with words, you know, that is how I think I'm just, I'm very black and white in that sense of like, give me my sign. And it was just like, you know what, Marissa , like, it's probably not going to happen that way. And because you're trying to force it and you're looking every which way up down, right. And left for your quote unquote signs. You're looking for the signs that you think you should be getting. And then it was like, okay, well, let's just, let's kind of play a game with this. Let's ask for X, Y, and Z and see how it shows up. And it just, it started happening. And I will just, I will say, you know , that I think has been such a contributor to how this process has been a lot more flow than resistance. And it's really identified areas where I was really resisting. And all of the things that I asked for over the last probably five years have really shown up in ways that I could not have even expected. And that could be another 10 podcasts. Right. But, you know , for sake of this one, it's, it's really the focusing on the opportunity with this career and how it really presented itself in a way that's like, I still get to have my business part-time and supplement it in ways that I couldn't have even dreamt jumped up. It's amazing. And I think it really shows that there are a million different ways of living the life you really want to live. And it doesn't have to be like this very specific way. I mean, really it truly, I think sometimes we work against like , sort of, like you said, you're looking for the science and by looking for these specific signs, you're missing the signs that you actually need to see because you want it to be something else. And I share that I am, I do this too , where it's like, I want it to be the sign, unless I'm filtering it through as this, but really the universe is like, hello, that is not what I tried to tell you, which I always think is kind of funny. And I do think that it it's true. I think it's true for so many of us. We want it to be one thing. And , um, and it's not always the case. Like the universe actually has something or God or whoever, you know, your thing is right. They have something better and we just it's like the resistance. We just keep resisting it. Exactly. Yeah. This is so good. And I just want to keep talking, but I'm like, okay, I don't want us to go to lots . I there's something , um, I want to ask, because I think that this is important for people who might be struggling in their business. Um, what would you tell them if they're struggling and they are thinking about supplementing their income? Yeah. That's another really good question. I would tell them to really release the pressure a little bit every day and see what comes from that and really give yourself pause. Like we talked about earlier, take pause and really reflect on what is your, why when you first started and where you currently are and where do you want to go? Are you in alignment with that? If not identify those areas that you're not. And if you want to supplement your business or you're even considering just stepping away from your business altogether, because for whatever reason it might be for you, it's having the ability to ask yourself the questions and have those conversations. Am I happy if yes. In what areas am I experiencing joy every day? If yes. And what areas, if no, how can I bring more joy? Um, where in my business do I feel like it's muddy or not super clear? How am I defining consistency for myself? Am I defining consistency? According to my own desires, wants and needs, or I'm defining it based on what I'm seeing from other people, whether it's in person or via social media, and also allowing yourself to really take some of the heaviness off of your shoulders every day and know that things will work out. Even if today, it feels like everything is crumbling down, or you just aren't sure where you're going to get your next client, or you feel like you need to cut your prices and half because people just aren't signing up. It typically has nothing to do with you and the people will come. And I think it, there's something to be said too, about letting go of that resistance. Because if we're constantly in this place of , um, lack mindset or physically, or not even, maybe not even physically just trying to do whatever we can possibly do to get the next client or the next dollar or whatever it is that is just going to put you into a place where you're spinning your tires and you're not getting anywhere. So it's really, how can you plant your feet and get your traction and start walking versus sprinting? Because no matter where you are in your business, there's always more room for growth. You're never going to have it all figured out, no matter how much social media will tell you, you're never all going to feel like you finally made it because there's always that human wiring of, okay, I hit this now. I want more. And that's okay. It's okay to want more. There's nothing wrong with it. And it's also allowing yourself to just accept that and say, okay, you know, I'm here today. And this is where I want to be tomorrow. How can I take one step towards getting to that versus saying, I'm going to climb this entire ladder in the next 24 hours. And everything is magically going to fall together. That's, that's not how it works in business or in life. So it's really just allowing yourself, like you said earlier to, to slow down and be okay with slowing down and slowing down. Doesn't always mean stopping, but sometimes it can and that's also okay. Yeah. Yeah. I love that advice. And I love all of the questions that you asked , so, so good. Well, I know we're getting close to our time together. I don't want to go over, so I'd love to know, because I think everybody's going to want to know what is next for you. What is next for me? Great question. And you, and I talked about this a little bit yesterday. Um, you know, I'm not sure yet I'm still, like I said, I, my business part-time, which I love , um, I think really what's next for me is just giving myself the space to figure it out and being okay with not having all the answers right away. Um, you know, I'm still coaching very part-time and I love that I will remain in my career as long as I possibly can, because I'm absolutely love my job. And I would say next for me is really finally sitting down and writing the book that I've been talking about for the last 10 years and also re-igniting , uh , my writing. So that will feel really good. I'm very excited about that. I'm looking forward to doing many more podcast interviews , uh, video interviews. I want to do more speaking events because that's truly where a lot of my joy lies and just enjoying the day to day and being able to be that person that anybody can come to and ask me questions. You know, this is where I'm at in my business, or this is where I'm at in my journey. I would love to know X, Y, and Z. Or can we talk about this or being, being one of the people that really transformed the industry in ways that I don't even know are going to happen, but really making an impact in a way that aligns with my overall vision without trying to micromanage the entire process? Uh , yeah. Yes. Yeah. It's sort of, you're just allowing yourself, you're allowing yourself to grow at, without forcing it. Yeah. There's so much to be said about allowing yourself to grow without forcing it. Because you know, at the end of the day, if I like to put things into visuals, it really just helps me. It helps my brain. If we think about a flower we plant, right, we don't go out to it every single day and try and pull the seed out and see if it will grow faster. We water it, we watch it, we nurture it for anything like me. Who's obsessed with her plants. You talk to it and, and you just allow, you allow it to do its thing and you allow it to flourish. And if it looks like it needs some water, you give it water, you don't ignore it. And if it looks like it needs a little bit more sun, you give it some shots, sun or shade or whatever it might be. And so, you know, it's just putting things into, into radical perspective for yourself and just realizing that you're on a stepping stone every single day in your journey and there, the stones will continue to appear. You don't have to have the entire path laid out. Yes. I love that so much. And I think it's so, so true. And I think our inpatients for knowing how things are going to happen are the things that get in our way the most. So just trusting, trusting, and allowing. I love it. Well, tell people where they can find you. Yeah , because I know they're going to want to, you can find me on Instagram. My handle is Marissa Renee Bailey, and that's generally where I'm at these days. So if you want to find me on there, please feel free. I'm on there. Occasionally. I'm not on there every single day. But if you send me a message, I will get back to you. I'm always happy to connect with new people. Always happy to have conversation. And I always love seeing new people come into my community and joining other people's communities as well. Well, thank you so much for us. I know so many people are going to get so much from this, so I really appreciate your time today. You're welcome. Thank you. This has been,

Stacie Mitchell:

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